This is a practical guide on how to overcome disempowering dialogue and flip the script in your favor instantly.
“I am the kind of person that is kind to myself.” -Affirmation from Michael Anthony of ThinkUnbroken.com
How often are you partaking in negative self-talk? Are you aware that you can become aware of the thought stream at all times, without judging it? Is that something you need to get better at?
If others around you heard your internal dialogue would they spit out their drink, stop and ask, “Hey, are you sure you are okay?”
Our greatest critic is often ourself. Nobody knows the battles we internally fight.
“Sometimes the strongest among us are the ones who smile through silent pain, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles that nobody knows about.” -Unknown
This post will help you gradually eliminate those internal battles.
Be patient and loving with yourself. You weren’t meant to be your biggest critic. You were meant to be your biggest fan.
The negative self dialogue becomes a habit pattern. It perpetuates without any awareness of doing so. It’s one of the subsets of mindset training that is often overlooked.
The solution is increased awareness of the thought-stream without judgement and without identifying with each thought. Judging each thought all day long is a recipe for misery because we are always thinking …. about everything… all the time. It’s just in our nature to always be thinking.
It’s theorized that we have between 6,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. On the upper end that’s over 400,000 thoughts per week and almost 2 million per month.
Thinking alone is a heavy task. Did you know that 20% of our calories go to the act of thinking? We are expending so much energy on constantly judging those thoughts as “good” or “bad” all day long.
What if you lightened that load and shifted into a space of more neutrality and discernment? What if you observed your thoughts and gave more attention to the ones that helped you advance your goals and less attention to the ones that pulled you away from your goals?
This is why the daily practice of mindfulness is so essential.
1. Mindfulness Allows you to Observe
When you observe, you don’t judge. You allow the new thoughts to arise and pass away. If they are inspiring thoughts you may explore them more. If they are disempowering thoughts it makes no logical sense to continue to explore them. That’s choosing to sow a story rooted in self doubt. Where is the logic in that?
“Success isn’t about how your life looks to others. It’s about how it feels to you.” -Unknown
As you observe the thought stream, notice the quality of your thoughts without identifying them as “good” or “bad”. If your thoughts are low quality, shallow, and disempowering, then try to shift your focus onto learning and expansion.
What’s the one thing you are in the process of mastering?
Are you reading, watching, or listening to content that accelerates your personal growth? Or, are you reading, watching, or listening to drama and irrelevant noise?
We have to be mindful about the content we are taking in, in the form of media and people. Most thoughts are the products of what we’ve been taking in for hours at a time. Who are you listening to and what are you watching?
Garbage in, garbage out.
Quality content in, enlightened thoughts out.
2. Flip the Script with Affirmations
When coaching a new client on abundance mindset, I teach them to go to their affirmations right away when their thinking starts to go downhill. They have a moment where they observe that their thoughts are seeded in self doubt and then they go right to their affirmations that are on stand by.
Having one sentence affirmations on your notes app or printed out right in front of you are vital materials for success. Our beliefs create our reality so we want to be constantly sowing empowering beliefs.
“I am open and receptive to all good.”
“I am magnificent.”
“I am getting better and better in every way, every day.”
Eventually the garden of your mind starts to become more beautiful. The negative thoughts no longer have a home in the garden of your mind. They are weeded out and overwritten when they arise. They don’t get watered, they don’t get attention, and thus they can’t take root.
Shine a light on the empowering thoughts and affirmations that are rooted in the truth of your being and encourage them to flourish freely. The result of all of this garden tending is a state of mind where you feel more free and less at war with yourself.
3. Physiology Is a Guaranteed Way to Change Your State
If things really aren’t going your way and nothing else is working then you must get out of your head and into your body. Body consciousness is technically a higher form of consciousness than the thinking mind.
There are chemical processes happening in your body at the rate of millions of times per second all the time, and they occur without any conscious thought. Think about it. There is massive intelligence in the body. We are biomechanical marvels. So when things aren’t flowing your way, acknowledge it, say “YES!” and change your environment. Lace up the shoes and hop on that bike, go for a run, or hit up your favorite gym.
Rate your mental state on a scale of 1-10 before exercise and after. It’s guaranteed to have improved.
Get sweaty for 30 minutes to an hour and you will be feeling the endorphin rush. The endorphins are a chemical response, sure, but ultimately you are feeling better because you just put in work, took action, and you just advanced on your health goals toward a better body and a stronger mind.
“To keep the body in good health is a duty…. otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” -Buddha
Use these 3 steps to flip the script and stop negative self talk from taking hold. The more you tend to the garden of your mind, the less low quality thoughts arise. Nobody deserves to suffer in their own minds. That’s the one area of your life where you are still sovereign and free.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” -Viktor Frankl