Do you ever wonder how some people just have the ability to work a room? Or WHO have the ability to make people feel seen and heard? These are people who have a high level of social intelligence.


Social intelligence refers to the ability to effectively navigate and understand social interactions and relationships. It encompasses a range of skills and abilities that help individuals connect with others, communicate effectively, and manage social situations. 

Here are some key components of social intelligence:

Empathy: People who are socially intelligent have the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. They can recognize and respond to the emotions of others in a compassionate way.

Social Awareness: They also have a very good understanding social cues and norms. They are aware of the dynamics in different social settings.

Communication Skills: Socially intelligent people can effectively convey thoughts and feelings through verbal and non-verbal communication. They also listen actively and attentively to others.

Interpersonal Skills: Building and maintaining healthy relationships comes naturally to those with social intelligence. They collaborate and work well with others in team settings.

Self-Regulation: Managing one’s own emotions and reactions in social situations.Staying calm and composed, especially in stressful or challenging interactions.

Conflict Resolution: Handling disagreements and conflicts in a constructive manner. Finding mutually beneficial solutions and maintaining positive relationships.

Social Perception: Accurately perceiving and interpreting the behavior and intentions of others. Being attuned to social signals and body language.

Influence and Persuasion: The ability to influence and persuade others in a positive way. Effectively presenting ideas and motivating others.

Adaptability: Adjusting behavior to fit different social contexts and environments. Being flexible and open to new social situations.

Leadership Skills: Inspiring and guiding others in social settings. Leading by example and fostering a collaborative environment.

While some of the qualities presented above come more natural to some than others, these are all skills you can work on and develop.


Maximizing your social intelligence involves developing a range of skills and qualities that enhance your ability to interact effectively with others. Here are some strategies to help you improve your social intelligence:

Practice Active Listening: Focus fully on the speaker, avoiding interruptions and distractions. You can do this by showing interest through nodding, maintaining eye contact, and using verbal affirmations like “I see” or “I understand.”

Develop Empathy: Try to understand things from others’ perspectives. Make sure to engage in activities that expose you to different experiences to better understand the different places someone may be coming from.

Improve Communication Skills: A skill you should always be working on is expressing your thoughts clearly and concisely. Practice using appropriate body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.

Observe Social Cues: Not all communication is verbal. Thus, pay attention to non-verbal signals such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures. You may also learn to read the emotional tone of conversations and adjust your responses accordingly.

Enhance Emotional Intelligence: Become more aware of your own emotions and how they affect your interactions. As you do this, practice self-regulation to manage your emotional responses in social situations where it may be needed.

Build and Maintain Relationships: Invest time in building genuine connections with others. Show appreciation and gratitude, and be supportive in times of need.

Practice Conflict Resolution: Learn to handle disagreements calmly and respectfully. Focus on finding solutions that are acceptable to all parties involved and on the problem – not the people.

Enhance Adaptability: Be open to new social situations and willing to adjust your behavior as needed. You can do this by practicing flexibility in your interactions, adapting your approach to suit different contexts.

Participate in Social Activities: Engage in group activities, clubs, or organizations that interest you. Take opportunities to practice and refine your social skills in various settings — you must apply the skills you are picking up in the real world.

Reflect on Social Interactions: After social interactions, reflect on what went well and what could be improved. Consider how your actions and words affected the interaction and what you can do differently next time.

By consistently applying these strategies, you can enhance your social intelligence, making it easier to navigate social situations, build meaningful relationships, and achieve success in both personal and professional interactions.


Here are some quick tips for maximizing your social intelligence almost immediately:

  1. To solve an issue quickly, be soft on the person and hard on the problem. Take on the approach where it is both of you working against the problem.
  2. Pretend everyone was sent to teach you something. This will allow you to see the good in everyone in your life and gain value from their presence, no matter how the relationship evolves. 
  3. To speak confidently, allow for pauses and maintain eye contact.
  4. When people feel seen, heard, and remembered, they feel important. Make sure to treat people this way.
  5. Use their name when you can. This is a person’s favorite sound –  ensure you remember it and use it often.
  6. Praise publicly and ciritize privately. No one wants to receive criticism publicly and may trigger their defens mechanisms. By providing criticism privately, you ensure that people actually hear you out.
  7. When giving feedback, ensure the other person knows you just want to help. You can do this by stating it right from the start, before you deliver the feedback.
  8. Communicate your expectations. If you don’t, these unspoken expectations are now premeditated resentments.
  9. The best networking strategy is helping others first. When you can provide value to them without expecting anything back, you’ll build an amazing network of people.
  10. Assume that people want to meet you. They don’t know who you are and they may be waiting to meet someone exactly like you. 

By following these principles, you enhance your ability to inspire and motivate your teams, create a vision, and drive change.