If you consider yourself a people-pleaser, it can be tough to say no. While there’s nothing wrong with being generous with your time, resources, and attention, always saying “yes” to everything can come with its own problems.
WHEN YOU SAY “YES” TO ONE THING, YOU’RE SAYING “NO” TO THE NEXT.
In economics, this is called a cost opportunity. When you decide between two options, you forgo the option you didn’t select. But the thing with life (and business) is that you don’t always have the two opportunities presented to you simultaneously. So while you are saying “yes” to something that you’re not exactly pumped about, you’re also saying no to a better opportunity that may be on its way.
Next time you’re presented with an opportunity, think about the cost of saying yes — and what opportunities you might be giving up — before making a final decision.
RECIPROCATION IS NOT GUARANTEED.
You might be thinking that if you always scratch someone else’s back, then they’ll be able to scratch yours when you need it. While that’s not a wrong way of thinking, it does implicate an assumption where other people have the intention to give back to you the same favor at some point in time.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are takers and not givers. An easy way to recognize if a person fits in this mold is if they’ve been asking you for favors for a long time, but never reciprocated. That’s when you know you’re being taken advantage of.
SAYING “YES” TO YOURSELF IS MORE IMPORTANT.
We all have 24 hours in a day and your time belongs to you. But if you’re constantly saying “yes” to everyone else, you’re essentially saying “no” to yourself. You’re not able to spend time improving your skills, hanging out with your loved ones, practicing self care, and so much more. Before you know it, you’ll be on the road toward burnout if you keep on saying yes.
NOW, HOW TO SAY “NO.”
Now that we covered why you need to stop saying yes to everything and everyone, let’s cover how you can say no to people without coming off as rude.
The first thing you should do is to become aware of your bandwidth and your boundaries. Ask yourself how much time in a week or a month you can easily put towards helping others, all while making sure you’re still saying “yes” to yourself.
From there, establish what types of activities or asks you genuinely enjoy helping others out with. If you love helping new entrants into your industry make connections, say yes to those asks. But if you hate showing up to networking events where you know there isn’t much value, then say no to those invitations.
Lastly, once you’ve established what it is you desire to do and what you may usually feel obligated to do, it’s time to put our favorite word to work: No.